Commentary

The Crazy Uncle

It seems someone wants a little attention for all of the hard work he’s done. Driving a nation into the ground is a difficult task. There are gulags to run, political opponents to murder, and all hints of a better life outside of North Korea to be suppressed. And all of this must happen while maintaining the perfect cartoon coif.

Mr. Kim must have been hopping mad at all of the attention that has been lavished upon the rogues from the Middle East. He doesn’t run a fancy, high profile terrorist organization like Hezbollah, but he does supply Iran and other aspiring menaces with the missiles required to create seas of fire. Dear Leader also deals drugs and is quite the able counterfeiter.

All he wants is a little respect from the big kids on the block. Most of all, he wants to deal with the US on an equal footing. Why don’t we just invite him to next year’s Independence Day celebration? He already has shown that he has the fireworks. Mr. Kim is also an avid fan of our movies, and rumor has it he loves our hard liquor.

As for his neighbors, both China and South Korea treat him like the “crazy uncle”. They can’t seem to cut him off, and they don’t really want to stir up big problems in their backyards by calling him to task for his erratic and insane behavior.

It probably isn’t in his plans to launch a missile strike against the US. After all, we mastered the technology decades ago and are busy creating a destabilizing and unnecessary missile shield, and most of Kim’s rockets explode prematurely. Another item to consider is that the warheads he claims to have are probably too large to fit on the tip of any missile.

Kim will probably sell his nuclear weapons on the black market, along with his missiles and drugs. He may offer a package that will allow his customers to start a nuclear war while getting high on cocaine or heroin(most likely cocaine).

This is indeed a frightening scenario- ignoring the drugs of course . Therefore, the world does need to act before North Korea becomes the Wal Mart of weapons of mass destruction. Given that the US is the real key player in this situation, everything that can be done to call a halt to Kim’s nuclear program must be attempted.

This missile test was just a cry for attention. The real danger lies in the spread of nuclear weapons to terrorist groups with the will and capacity to use them. The US should remain engaged in the six party talks. North Korea has only violated its own missile test moratorium, not any international treaties. If we choose to descend to Kim’s level, the security situation in Asia will deteriorate, and the chances of nuclear weapons falling into the wrong hands will increase significantly.

© 2006 Splendid Marbles.