My recent trip to the Post Office (A holiday rant):
A few details-

1. It seemed as if a large security breach occurred at a nearby mental
institution, as there were many people wearing pajama-like outfits, some
appeared to be clad in robes, and many feet were comforted by slippers.
It seems that the Post Office, like the casino and the supermarket, does
not abide by even the most liberal of dress codes.

2. Several customers were ill-prepared for the task that brought them
to the Post Office in the first place. They were frantically filling out forms
at the service counter that are supposed to be completed before entering the
set of velvet ropes. One women was actually taping her package together
at the service window, and there was a man examining documents before
placing them in his crumpled and stained envelop. Clearly, these are duties
that should have been handled at home, or the institution depending on the
customer.

3. There was the 80 decibel hum from the fluorescent lights- for added
pleasure. This was an exceptionally nice touch, especially when added to
the fact I spent twenty minutes on line. This could have amplified the un-
acceptable behavior, but surely could not have been the cause of it.

4. There was a man who spent ten minutes getting his special package
just right- at the service window of course. Maybe he was sending his wisdom
teeth to the tooth fairy’s mother. This would be a package that demands that
extra bit of attention.

5. Then there was the line itself- the horrible beast derived from Satan’s
darkest thoughts. Given my natural tendency to avoid all physical contact
with strangers, I decided to create a comfortable margin of floor space between
myself and the person in front of me. This backfired. The woman behind me
was a victim of the law of the line. This law is quite rigid, and is obeyed sub-
consciously by most humans when they are waiting on any type of line- for
free hamburgers, spankings, executions- it really doesn’t matter. Since there
were twenty people on line, the law dictates that it will be forty feet long.
And my decision to give the person ahead of me an extra foot meant that the
woman behind me could offer me no room at all. My bad, she was subject to
a natural law, where I, foolishly, exercised my free will.

6. When I reached the window, I found the woman behind the service
counter to be courteous and helpful. The opposite of the popular stereotype
that was most likely started by some of the disorganized and dysfunctional
people found on line at the Post Office.

Conclusion: If you have the misfortune of experiencing a visit to the Post
Office this holiday season, remember that it is most likely the people on line,
your fellow citizens, who are making you wait. Oh, and for the select few
who have just crawled out of bed, or escaped from the institution, no need to
worry, you will blend right in…

Greg Strid

I’ll take the fruit salad please, just remove the cruddy looking,
dried up pieces that are hard to swallow. The toughest looking
pieces in the Baker-Hamilton salad are the ones representing
discussions with Iran and Syria.

As president Bush rambled on about the US not succeeding as
quickly as he hoped, and while he mentioned that progress is not
occurring at a rapid enough pace, I could see the magical marsh-
mallows from Lucky Charms cereal dancing joyfully above his
head.

Mentioning that we have not succeeded as fast as he and
the magical Leprechauns would like implies that we have
achieved some measure of success. The same goes with
progress, which usually means improvement. There has been
nothing but a rapid deterioration of security, political and econ-
omic conditions in Iraq, and this unwanted reality is the exact
opposite of what defines success and progress.

When president Bush was asked by British reporters about his
apparent state of denial concerning the dismal situation in Iraq,
he reached into his bag of Rove-crafted clichés to describe our
mission there and the dire consequences that would haunt us if
the job were left unfinished.

He understands sectarian violence, and more importantly that
we are hunting down al Qaeda- presumably in the country they
now call home. Remember the dastardly duo of bin Laden and
al Zawahiri? Remember 9/11? Remember the Alamo, your
mother’s birthday? He does, and so should all of us.

Another part of Bush’s diatribe concerned the importance of
adjusting, and NOT quitting. I understand his position concerning
troop withdrawals, you know, the pre-election “cut and run” cliché.
What I do not get is his use of the word ‘adjust’. One of the best
ways to move forward is to modify his administration’s pork-fisted
approach to diplomacy in the region. Bush seems adamantly
opposed to opening a dialogue with the two most influential
powers in the region, Iran and Syria.

He has actually raised two enormous hurdles, one for each to clear,
in order for any discussions to occur. In the case of Iran , they
must cease all nuclear enrichment activity, and Syria must abandon
all support for Hezbollah. Both are positions that should be set as
goals for the end of negotiations, not as preconditions for sitting
down to the table.

This is where depression sets in. I have mentioned my dismay
on several occasions at the Bush doctrine of silence with regard to
these two regimes. Syria harbors Iraqi insurgents, and provides a
safe home for the funds that support their activities. Iran supports
Moktada al-Sadr, and other large political parties in Iraq, and provides
backing for their militias.

Granted, the problems in Iraq are being fed from many sources, but
dealing with its two most troublesome neighbors would be a logical
place to start. This is a major theme in the Iraq Study group. In order
to repair Iraq, the entire neighborhood must be brought into the
process. A permanent solution to land disputes between Israel and
Syria, Lebanon and the Palestinians should be pursued, and Iran must
be engaged, not isolated, in order to improve the political gridlock and
the problems stemming from unregulated militias.

The Iranians were given two gifts by this administration, the first came
with the removal of the Taliban from Afghanistan, and the second
when Saddam Hussein was deposed in Iraq, both where Sunni regimes
hostile to Iran. Now this administration has granted the Iranian gov-
ernment a propaganda bonanza by refusing to negotiate with them.

I believe that Bush has nothing to lose by reaching out to these states.
If they turn out to be to be insincere, he at least tried, and would be
proven correct about their intentions. If they decide to cooperate, as
Iran did in 2002 after the temporary rout of the Taliban, then Iraq
could very well end up in a more stable condition.

The time has come to stop with the “struggle for civilization” rhetoric,
throw away the tabs of acid and pour the Kool-Aid down the drain.
Lives are being lost at an alarming rate, and serious, practical solutions
are needed right now. Curing Iraq is a long shot, but I believe it is
worth striving for. A more stable Iraq will benefit the entire region,
that much Bush has stated. What I do not understand is his refusal
to engage all parties who are stirring up the mayhem in that tortured
land in order to achieve this goal.

Greg Strid