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A trip to the Post Office- A rant

My recent trip to the Post Office (A holiday rant):
A few details-

1. It seemed as if a large security breach occurred at a nearby mental
institution, as there were many people wearing pajama-like outfits, some
appeared to be clad in robes, and many feet were comforted by slippers.
It seems that the Post Office, like the casino and the supermarket, does
not abide by even the most liberal of dress codes.

2. Several customers were ill-prepared for the task that brought them
to the Post Office in the first place. They were frantically filling out forms
at the service counter that are supposed to be completed before entering the
set of velvet ropes. One women was actually taping her package together
at the service window, and there was a man examining documents before
placing them in his crumpled and stained envelop. Clearly, these are duties
that should have been handled at home, or the institution depending on the
customer.

3. There was the 80 decibel hum from the fluorescent lights- for added
pleasure. This was an exceptionally nice touch, especially when added to
the fact I spent twenty minutes on line. This could have amplified the un-
acceptable behavior, but surely could not have been the cause of it.

4. There was a man who spent ten minutes getting his special package
just right- at the service window of course. Maybe he was sending his wisdom
teeth to the tooth fairy’s mother. This would be a package that demands that
extra bit of attention.

5. Then there was the line itself- the horrible beast derived from Satan’s
darkest thoughts. Given my natural tendency to avoid all physical contact
with strangers, I decided to create a comfortable margin of floor space between
myself and the person in front of me. This backfired. The woman behind me
was a victim of the law of the line. This law is quite rigid, and is obeyed sub-
consciously by most humans when they are waiting on any type of line- for
free hamburgers, spankings, executions- it really doesn’t matter. Since there
were twenty people on line, the law dictates that it will be forty feet long.
And my decision to give the person ahead of me an extra foot meant that the
woman behind me could offer me no room at all. My bad, she was subject to
a natural law, where I, foolishly, exercised my free will.

6. When I reached the window, I found the woman behind the service
counter to be courteous and helpful. The opposite of the popular stereotype
that was most likely started by some of the disorganized and dysfunctional
people found on line at the Post Office.

Conclusion: If you have the misfortune of experiencing a visit to the Post
Office this holiday season, remember that it is most likely the people on line,
your fellow citizens, who are making you wait. Oh, and for the select few
who have just crawled out of bed, or escaped from the institution, no need to
worry, you will blend right in…

Greg Strid

© 2006 Splendid Marbles.