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Caption Contests

Alien Bar Fight Cartoon Caption Contest

By SplendidMarbles ⋅ January 5, 2009 ⋅ Post a comment
What is a bartender to do?

What is a bartender to do?

This cartoon will probably keep me out of the children’s literature industry for good – not that I had high hopes of striking gold by spinning morally uplifting stories for tykes. (Image after jump.) But hey, this is the Splendid Marbles Cartoon Caption Contest, and the subject matter, although neither laced with profanity nor oozing blood and guts, is geared toward adults with a twisted sense of humor.

So please dive into the darker recesses of your mind and submit one smashing caption in the comment section, along with a valid email address, and you could win a $10 cash prize. I will be accepting entries until midnight on Thursday, January 8th, 2009. I will then select five finalists, which will be voted on starting Friday morning, and ending at midnight on Sunday, January 11th, 2009. I will announce the winner at noon on Monday, January 12th, and I’ll post a brand new caption contest. (Please submit only one caption.)

As for the cartoon, I don’t know what to say. I’ve seen bartenders contend with nasty behavior from intoxicated humans – counting myself in the ugly ranks – over the two-plus decades I’ve spent in New York and New Jersey watering holes. How would these booze-dispensing referees deal with drunken aliens and dragons? This is your task. Put yourself behind the bar in this oddball establishment that attracts beings that are not even supposed to exist (maybe this is why they drink so heavily). Have fun!

As for last week’s contest, it was a tie. Only two people voted. Is my money of no value? Surely ten bucks is not a princely sum, but it can buy two drinks in the burbs and one (with a tip) in the City. Please give it another go – I’ll keep the polls open until midnight, Thursday. (The cartoon is posted again below, so cast your vote in the “What’s Your Opinion” section, located in the center column, below “Recent Marbles” and a box of ads.)

Here are the five final captions for last week’s contest:

1. “Yeah, I used to work on Wall Street, too.” From Dan.
2. “What kind of an A-Hole Club requires PANTS?” From Qwerty.
3. “Yo Aaanald, Can we hurry this up? I don’t wanna miss the Red Bull-infused champagne at midnight!” From Dane.
4. “Hey, A-Hole, let us in!” From Christina G.
5. “I don’t mind paying and showing my ID, but I ain’t giving Mr. Marine my pants.” From Jenifer Mancini.

Also, check out more cartoons in the Splendid Marbles Cartoon Gallery.

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There is a tie that must be broken.

There is a tie that must be broken.

And, check out more cartoons and the winners of the caption contest in the Splendid Marbles Cartoon Gallery.

Please note: I will send out an email on Mondays to remind you about the contest. I will NOT pester you at any other time during the week, and I will NOT share your email with another living soul – or organization run by the living. AND, I will take you off of the list as soon as you request to be removed – just send a reply email with “UNSUBSCRIBE” in the subject line. Thank you, and have fun with this week’s cartoon. (Please be advised: I reserve the right to remove comments that contain foul language.)

Intellectual Property Statement: By submitting your caption(s) to SplendidMarbles.com, you agree that such caption(s) and the accompanying information will become the property of SplendidMarbles.com and you grant SplendidMarbles.com permission to publicly display and use the captions in any form or media for any and all purposes. Your submission also allows SplendidMarbles.com to edit, or adjust the caption for clarity and language. In return for submitting captions, SplendidMarbles.com will give you name recognition every time your caption is published.

Brick to head-1.jpg Winner of the Funeral Theater Caption Contest ATM for the Bereaved

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Discussion

63 comments for “Alien Bar Fight Cartoon Caption Contest”

  1. Are you ready for your anal probe?

    Posted by Marcy Strahan | January 5, 2009, 12:20 pm

  2. “I don’t care what you do to the dragon, but if you try and probe me with that bottle again, you are outta here”

    Posted by Jason Nickolay | January 5, 2009, 12:38 pm

  3. I wouldn’t do that if I were you Bud! You ever heard of his daddy – he goes by the name of “Godzilla”!?

    Posted by lisa keller | January 5, 2009, 2:01 pm

  4. You gotta problem take it to the sky fellas!

    Posted by Billie Johnson | January 5, 2009, 2:09 pm

  5. I’ve been watching WAY too many Twilight Zone episodes!

    Posted by Cindy Thurman | January 5, 2009, 2:50 pm

  6. You tell Leno no one can muscle me around; it’s gonna be The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brian!

    Posted by David Clark | January 5, 2009, 6:24 pm

  7. All-RIGHT! I’ll order the “imported” beer next time!

    Posted by sharon cawley | January 5, 2009, 8:25 pm

  8. This ain’t no Mos Eisley Cantina–take it outside!

    Posted by Karen Eichler | January 5, 2009, 11:56 pm

  9. I always thought Aileens were so much bigger.. like the movies,my money is on puff the magic dragon!

    Posted by Jessica Miller | January 6, 2009, 12:37 am

  10. I don’t speak Klingon!

    Posted by Kathy Mullins | January 6, 2009, 12:38 am

  11. Listen buddy, we had no idea that peanuts are considered sacred on you planet.

    Posted by Belinda | January 6, 2009, 4:35 am

  12. I knew I shouldn’t of had that last shot of Whiskey.

    Posted by Lisa | January 6, 2009, 10:47 am

  13. I do not want to have to tell you again to stop trying to hit on fire breath over there!

    Posted by Valerie Mabrey | January 6, 2009, 12:50 pm

  14. Hey, we don’t serve your kind of crazy here.

    Posted by Amy | January 6, 2009, 1:30 pm

  15. I have to stop drinking on the job!

    Posted by Anthony Steiner | January 6, 2009, 4:21 pm

  16. I think someone slipped something in MY drink!

    Posted by David P Cosgrove | January 6, 2009, 4:34 pm

  17. I hate these imaginary creatures drink free nights.

    Posted by Katharine | January 6, 2009, 5:55 pm

  18. screw that i am not wearing pants

    Posted by susan varney | January 6, 2009, 5:56 pm

  19. “To think I gave up Acting because they were to crazy.”

    Posted by Penny Avon | January 6, 2009, 7:43 pm

  20. Just tell your friend if he’s going to smoke again he’ll have to go outside.

    Posted by Gwen L | January 6, 2009, 8:25 pm

  21. I saw it coming once they started talking about scientology and politics.

    Posted by Kelly | January 6, 2009, 9:15 pm

  22. Blind date?

    Posted by Briana Logan | January 6, 2009, 9:45 pm

  23. Ashtin, is that you in the Dragon Costume? Am I being punk’d?

    Posted by Rich | January 6, 2009, 9:51 pm

  24. NANU NANU NOW GET YOUR SLIMMY BUTS OUT OF MY BAR OR IM CALLING MORK FROM ORK.

    Posted by Bret Hurst | January 6, 2009, 9:58 pm

  25. That funny lookin dude don’t stand a chance, my money’s on the dragon

    Posted by Honey | January 6, 2009, 11:13 pm

  26. Damn, why couldn’t I work in Area 50 or 52?

    Posted by Kyle Banderman | January 7, 2009, 1:22 am

  27. I should have kept that job at Disneyland.

    Posted by Emily B. | January 7, 2009, 2:41 am

  28. Heya Puff, could I borrow a light over here?

    Posted by Jay F | January 7, 2009, 2:55 am

  29. “I’d be careful buddy, signs of aggression are mating habits for dragons…..”

    Posted by Joe Walters | January 7, 2009, 2:56 am

  30. I hope you get that make-believe bastard, he hasn’t paid his tab in weeks.

    Posted by DD | January 7, 2009, 1:11 pm

  31. Hey Buddy you got some nerve drinking the last beer.

    Posted by joseph | January 7, 2009, 2:59 pm

  32. Maybe the dingo ate your baby.

    Posted by Meghan | January 7, 2009, 3:16 pm

  33. That’s it, you’re flagged !

    Posted by Linda | January 7, 2009, 3:20 pm

  34. Awe… Blagojevich!!!

    Posted by Chris | January 7, 2009, 5:26 pm

  35. Hey, Bub! Pale Ale has nuthin’ to do with YOU!

    Posted by Qwerty | January 7, 2009, 5:45 pm

  36. Mulder and Scully should never play dress up on Halloween.

    Posted by Ed Nemmers | January 7, 2009, 7:13 pm

  37. Well, This takes Fire in the Sky to an all new level…..

    Posted by Sonny Gibson | January 7, 2009, 7:28 pm

  38. Looks like someone needs to phone home!

    Posted by Gary W. | January 7, 2009, 8:34 pm

  39. “Sit down! Just ’cause it’s Space Beer doesn’t mean it will attract all the alien chicks!”

    Posted by Melissa Joy S | January 7, 2009, 8:47 pm

  40. Listen pal, if you don’t settle down I’m calling Immigration.

    Posted by Lucy Schwartz | January 7, 2009, 8:55 pm

  41. I knew I shouldn’t have tried that absinthe…

    Posted by Reed Aronow | January 7, 2009, 9:13 pm

  42. Say it don’t spray it, man. I’ve told you before and I’ll tell you again, Chuck Norris can abduct you and he will. He can also breathe fire.

    Posted by Andi Welch | January 7, 2009, 11:02 pm

  43. Eyy puff…is it just me or was that shit laced?

    Posted by Chris | January 7, 2009, 11:03 pm

  44. Okay man, I’m not going to ask you again. Please put your martian butt on the stool or you are going to fall and cut yourself with that bottle. You know that will only make the dragon laugh at you more. How does causing a scene stop anything?!?

    Posted by samantha | January 8, 2009, 12:46 am

  45. Better make it a double jack… this ugly ass broad’s giving me the evil eye!

    Posted by jaysh blevins | January 8, 2009, 1:58 am

  46. Don’t make me get the fucking unicorn in here!

    Posted by Jeffrey G | January 8, 2009, 2:34 am

  47. “This is the last “Take Your Inlaws to Work Day” for me!”

    Posted by Beverly Justice | January 8, 2009, 9:00 am

  48. No more booze for that one

    Posted by jesy | January 8, 2009, 9:55 am

  49. “I should warn you Sputnik, our scaly friend here has a wicked backdraft.”

    Posted by Marie N | January 8, 2009, 11:34 am

  50. Alien with broken bottle+ Puff the magic dragon with a corona= I think I need a new job

    Posted by Carla | January 8, 2009, 12:45 pm

  51. God… I wonder if my insurance policy covers extra terrestrials and supposedly pretend fairy tale creatures… I should probably look into it.

    Posted by April | January 8, 2009, 6:23 pm

  52. RELAX E.T look alike, i didn’t know the dragon was with you, jeez

    Posted by larry ard | January 8, 2009, 7:06 pm

  53. This little guy,belongs in a looney
    bin

    Posted by Charlene Kuser | January 8, 2009, 11:28 pm

  54. If you want to fight because the dragon lit your fart then take it outside!

    Posted by Lily Kwan | January 9, 2009, 12:13 am

  55. “What does he know? My Favorite Martian wasn’t that dumb of a tv show.”

    Posted by Megan Matzen | January 9, 2009, 12:24 am

  56. It’s not Haloween!

    Posted by Donna K | January 9, 2009, 1:09 am

  57. i knew opening a bar in middle earth was a horrible idea…

    Posted by mona lott | January 9, 2009, 5:16 pm

  58. why would you want to see my leader? hes already waay ahead of you in destroying the U.S.

    Posted by The boss | January 9, 2009, 5:20 pm

  59. i didnt cut your ship off earlier…i dont even fly!

    Posted by Illegal Hunchback | January 9, 2009, 5:22 pm

  60. “Settle down, when he said ‘yo momma is so fat …’, he didn’t actually mean your mother.”

    Posted by Amir | January 19, 2009, 7:53 pm

  61. Just because you breath fire diesn’t make you hot.

    Posted by tiffany lane | January 19, 2009, 8:44 pm

  62. AHHH! My Balls

    Posted by Kevin | January 27, 2009, 9:12 pm

  63. Barbarians!! Take cover ~

    Posted by ceci | January 29, 2009, 9:32 pm

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