Cartoon Caption Contests
Giant Gun Cartoon Caption Contest
What would a gun shop owner say about this baby?
I think you will have tons of fun with this cartoon, whether you have a serious love affair with guns, or wish all firearms were melted down to make jungle gyms in Sub-Saharan Africa. Please unearth a clever caption (actually, this week you are allowed two submissions) and place it in the comment section, along with a valid email address, and you could win a $10 cash prize. I will accept entries until midnight, Friday, January 23rd, 2009. I’ll select five finalists over the weekend, which will be voted on starting noon Monday, January 26th, and ending at midnight on Friday, January 30th, 2009. (There will be a new Splendid Marbles Cartoon Caption Contest starting at noon, the 30th, as well.)
I’ve changed the rules for the caption contest because too few people were voting (my fault because I chose to schedule voting over the weekend), and to give everyone two chances to come up with a saucy caption. The prize is still ten bucks – obviously I’m not getting rich writing checks each week, however modest they may be. But this really is fun for me; many of the captions I read make me laugh quite hard – and I’m a cynical bastard who is very hard to please.
Just to let you know, my goal in this endeavor is completely selfish. I want to build up a solid and constantly growing legion of participants, so that a big-ass company will be tempted to sponsor a super fancy prize. So, spread the word and keep submitting funny stuff! And, I want to be famous, and rich enough to build my own castle – complete with a moat and flying monkeys. I’ve started submitting my work to weekly magazines – I met with the cartoon editor of The New Yorker last week, and he told me to come back in a few weeks (I’ve heard it has taken cartoonists up to a year to get published in this magazine, so my hopes are still far from dashed).
Oh, before I forget, last week’s winning caption is:
“Indian Jones 5, huh? Good for you. You know that’s my husband.” From Jessica Dunnican. (Cartoon with Jessica’s caption is at the bottom of this post.)
Don’t stop reading yet! I will be posting brand new cartoons, with my very own captions, every Wednesday at noon, and I’ll have a new piece of thought-bending commentary for you to read every Friday at noon.
One last thing! Please send me some feedback. What do you like, dislike about the way I’m running this contest? Would you be interested in winning a custom t-shirt with you caption on it, instead of ten bucks? (Send me a note at splendidmarbles3@gmail.com )
While you’re here, sign up for my feed so you can get some of the best in original political cartoons and commentary.
The winning caption from Jessica Dunnican.
And, check out more cartoons and the winners of the caption contest in the Splendid Marbles Cartoon Gallery.
Please note: I will send out an email on Mondays to remind you about the contest. I will NOT pester you at any other time during the week, and I will NOT share your email with another living soul – or organization run by the living. AND, I will take you off of the list as soon as you request to be removed – just send a reply email with “UNSUBSCRIBE” in the subject line. Thank you, and have fun with this week’s cartoon. (Please be advised: I reserve the right to remove comments that contain foul language.)
Intellectual Property Statement: By submitting your caption(s) to SplendidMarbles.com, you agree that such caption(s) and the accompanying information will become the property of SplendidMarbles.com and you grant SplendidMarbles.com permission to publicly display and use the captions in any form or media for any and all purposes. Your submission also allows SplendidMarbles.com to edit, or adjust the caption for clarity and language. In return for submitting captions, SplendidMarbles.com will give you name recognition every time your caption is published.
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Tags: Cartoon-Caption-Contest, Cartoons, gun cartoons, gun shop cartoons, humor, splendid marbles cartoon caption contest Discussion
123 comments for “Giant Gun Cartoon Caption Contest”
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Main Marbles
- No categories
No, no, I meant a big pack of gum, not gun.
No, you don’t need a license or background check to buy it.
…AND it comes with a holster!
No Dick it won’t matter what you aim it at. It’ll hit everything.
Recoil? No… there’s no recoil.
…and THIS baby belonged to Charlton Heston…
Actually this baby they can’t outlaw. It’s being sold as a demolition tool.
it’s for squirrel huntin’
This is what made the dinosaurs extinct.
Yes sir this will defianetly take care of those pesky aliens.
It’s comes with a certificate of authenticity from Arnold Schwarzenegger, himself and is 100% guaranteed to bring down any dirtbag!
Other than Chuck Norris, this baby will stop just about anything!
Even road kill will get out of your way when they see this baby coming!
So,is that for the Democrats or Republicans?
I could use that gun to take care of them varmints in my veggie garden!
So much for penis envy.
So powerful, its almost legal in Texas…
This one is a little bit bigger than the one your wife bought.
Just pull the trigger, and the deer will be killed, butchered, tenderized, and fully cooked.
The best way to share those mints, is with this here “novelty mint dispenser”. Simply point it at the mouth, and………
Mint? Dis thang is mint… better git er ‘fore dat Obamer guy makes er ‘legal.
“Gun balancing requires two things: patience and a gun.”
The blueprint had scaled it larger, but it was decided that it was borderlining weapon of mass destruction.
…and give me some of those mints to cover my beer breath
“That’s right, put your right hand over your heart and pledge allegiance to the gun.”
“If it’s subtlety you want, then I think you’ve found y’er girl.”
“and It even comes with Satelite tv..”
This beginner’s rifle has an automated digital aiming system by Microsoft, so you don’t need — oh, darn, it’s doing it again.
“I think it’s a great Valentines Day gift. Most guys just get their wives a box of chocolates.”
“Sorry, it only comes in pink.”
Plus, when you’re done killing EVERYTHING, it can double as a support beam for your house! And the support beam can shoot grenades!
Dave firmly held the strong base of the KillMaster 5.82, gazing up at it lovingly. Nothing could do for him what this gun could – and it would be a while before Dave realized he had a customer.
Whatever the heck you are, keep your hands to yourself.
Yea, I made it, just look at the size of it! My wife said it needs to be bigger, because it just doesn’t compare to Sergio’s….she was talking about the gun, right?
One look at this baby and even the Bear’s Pass Out.
“You can even take her in the shower with you, but enough about my wife, are you going to buy this gun?”
even dick chenney could shoot it.
Now this baby here is the one I take with me when I visit my brother in Detroit!
It’s funny you should say that because “Take My Breath Away” is OUR favorite song from our favorite movie Top Gun!
This here is the Dick Cheney Rambolater.
“Dave’s not here but you can call me George. I just got this job today. Uprooted from DC you might could say”
That should fit perfectly in my wife’s purse.
And its eco-friendly.
1.Let’s make it rocky
2.You have a lot of soul.
“Yeah, they’re getting pretty easy to get these days… I’m gonna need to see your ID for these here mints, though.”
This is no toy! For that you’ll need to head next door to Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium…
And this little baby is called the gun control lobby silencer, we have it on special for the inauguration
Remember, you’re in TEXAS now!
AND it will add four inches to your penis! If this doesn’t impress her, nothing will.
You can paint the whole room in one shot.
If you don’t like this, I’ll go get the big one.
And it also comes attached with a MP3 player!
Now, with these here three chambers, you can load shot for bird, deer, and rabbit at the same time. It’s great for when more than one hunting season is open.
yep the whole Flock IN ONE SHOT.
This baby is the American Dream.
Yeah…this is the top of the line super-soaker!
You say you want it for squirrel huntin’ do ya?
You know Dick Cheney?
If you want the lady, it’s the size of your gun that really matters.
You know what they say about a guy with a big gun?.?.?
Getting the concealed weapon permit is the easy part, the challenge is in the concealing. But if you want to do your part to protect the border you’re going to need some lubrication and an open mind.
This here we call “The Chick Magnet”!
Yep. Told my e-Harmony date I’ve got big guns.
Let’s see those pesky Soviet Cosmonaughts try to hide in their little space station from this bad boy!
Yes sir, Paul, with this Big Daddy you won’t ever have another “Piñata embarrassment” like you did on your 45th Birthday!
Multiple barrels, grenade launcher, nightvision scope, and see that little dish up here? … yeah that’s for 1 years’ free HDTV through the Dish Network… ya know, to pass the time.
No, thank you, All I want is some mints.
This…is the Dick Cheney Special.
So you say you just lost your job at the Post Office?
Size matters!
…and this is our newest model, The Dick Chaney.
Of course the tooth pick and tweezers are standard.
This here will make the duck’s butt pucker at 1000 yards.
If I buy some mints…can I get a deal on the gun?..(like buy 1 get 1 free?!
Yeah don’t worry you’ll get the deer with this thing!
Ain’t nothin you can’t fix with THIS 30-06
The GPS makes this an excellent product when driving.
This is the cure for tough economic times.
…used only once, by an little old lady who mowed down a used-car dealership.
Ah yes this baby has all the bells and whistles: full auto cartridge reload, satellite guided laser targetting, a GPS, and get this…it even includes pac-man preinstalled!!!
It’s from our Broadband line. Fires at GIGABYTES per second.
We call it the “Recession Buster”
Yessir, it’ll do everything, this little knob here even dispenses the beer ….
This model would make anybody’s day.
Of course, it all depends on how seriously you take the issue of home security.
I call ‘er, “Serena.”
Yep you can hunt quail with her
That’s right it is the same one Dick Cheney uses
Concealed carry permit? I don’t think so.
Ooh, say can you see…
Now here’s one those filthy liberals REALLY don’t want you to have!
Of course you can bring it on an airplane.
This will really surpise the guys at Paintball!!!
Sure is, this here is the Palin Polar-Popper!
Dear Lord ain’t she a beaut!
Yep- I don’t recommend y’all sleep with it under your mattress,dang backs as stiff as a frozen lizard!
You’re wife is wrong, size does matter!
You’ll shoot ya eye out kid!
Never seen one slip away with this one.
…And when it’s unfolded it looks like this.
Yeah.. those breath mints will blow you away
It also comes in large!
We call this the Fallis 2000, sir!
Scared of an alien attack, huh? This one will shoot them right out of the UFO!
Here it is we call it the “Overcompensation Shooter”
Yep,it’s the prototype used by the ‘Predator’ against the Governator.
Top of the line huh, I’ve seen bigger.
Yes sir, this baby comes in handy for the proverbial shotgun wedding!
You won’t find one of these in a box of Cracker Jack!
we americans sure do love the concept of the supersizing, ah the possibilities are endless…
“and this one was featured on “pimp my piece”.”
“That’s right, with every mint you purchase, you get one of these absolutely free!”
“Now this baby here, will shoot clean through the planet”
don’t even think about it, cheney. take your free mint and beat it.
how many times do you need to be warned about loitering, cheney.
Vote for Bush and everyone gets a free grenade launcher
For all your terrorist problems come on in to daves and get the all new B.F.G.
I call him Porky Pig ’cause ‘Thats all Doc’.
If your target is still in one piece after your first shot, you get your money back.
“Who needs waterboarding anyways?…RPG, IED…Are you feeling lucky Bin Laden….well are you punk”!
“This no WALMART… partner. I knew you couldn’t handle the truth!
1. So you say the neighbor kids keep walking on your lawn?
2. We call this one “The Second Amendment”
We been sellin’ alot of these.
My wife likes it big.
For the times when friendly just don’t do it.