If you don’t like what we have to offer in the cooler, go to another store.

I know he looks preppy, but he will taste good anyway.

I recommend the, Sedate Reader, they are more fleshy in the tail…

Hmmmm if you would wear that shirt you would eat anything. You can have this one I will take the next one.

Hey, Al, we’d better get that pot of water boiling before he realizes the title of the book is “How to Serve Man!”

What would you like today, sir–leg, thigh, or breast? Anything you choose will be as fresh as it can be!

He’s for breeding only, when they get old, they tend to be stringy and taste like leather…

At the MANARIUM, Frank shows his son Manny the importance of staying in schools

“There’ll be no dinner until you get some appetizers. Now go and get his kids.”

Fang and Doris thought getting a new pet would teach their kids some responsibility

Notice what a voracious reader he is. He can devour an entire sports section in under 5 minutes!

We caught that one deeper than most, apparently those kind are bottom feeders.

“Actually, funny you should mention Hawaii.. I picked this little tiddler up when I was on holiday there last summer”

Herbert scanned the racing form for a sure-bet to get him out of the clutches of these oily loan sharks.

Book raised human is much healthier. I know it cost double, but I can’t eat the fast food TV versions.

with his shoe glass cutter and micro harpoon-gun hidden in his mouth, 007 knew he had them right where he wanted them.

-cue naked lady silhouettes-

I heard that a well-read human is 50% lower in fat.

or

“Now Harold, you know what the doctor said about eating right…a human away keeps the doctor away.”

After hours of debating Joey and Flynn decided on a restaurant, Read Mobster.

“Yeah, I’ll take the PETA-man pita, to go.”

“NO WAY! It’s totally my turn to do the Sudoku and you know it.”

Since joining SETH, Doris had a growing disgust with Fang and his penchant for human teabagging.

I can see how my Brooklyn accent could get in the way, but I clearly said I wanted to talk with “PETA”

“Wait until you see what happens when you tap on the glass… it’s priceless!”

is that a salt-air human or a fresh-air human?

Be sure to recycle the newspaper when you are done with him.

See son, when they sit with that paper in their face, that means they’re gonna poop..

He’s a lawyer, and that would be like eating your cousin.

“Okay, so dinner’s in the tank… but this is not my definition of a HAPPY MEAL!”

Did you feed Nemo yet today?

This one looks so sick, let’s eat the book instead.

“Having taste”, and being “well seasoned” doesn’t always refer to flavor.

When I refer to “having taste” or being “Well seasoned” I’m talking about a nice spicy rub not literature.

See this? He bit me! I’m glad he only has one row of teeth.

So if you keep this Homo Sapien alive, I’ll get you the female…I heard they smell just like us.

Oh dude! You’re in for a treat! You’ve never lived well until you’ve tasted human brain stew!

Sorry, but this time I get the wish bone.

It’s the other white meat!

And this here is my newest acquisition. It’s a rare form of human called a “Debt-free man with a 401k.” Although some fish just refer to them as CEO’s.

I will have the seafood special.

take off that hawaiian shirt finny. We need a train ride to shell reef

Hey… isn’t that the guy from the caveman cartoon????

Is this your idea of organic?

“Listen Sharky, if he stops reading, even for one minute, push the pressure chamber button.”

“Everything is under control. And don’t worry, you will get your work shirt tomorrow.”

“No dear, you are fixing dinner tonight. I’ve worked outside all day.”

“You’ll like this one. Reading the New York Times makes them all soft and flaky.”

I told you, I’m a man-eater not a nerd-eater

Ah … a smart choice meal

This is my newest addition to my collection! I picked him up on vacation at PCB.

Don’t worry, this one’s potty trained.

Wall Street this, Wall Street that,
they treat us like we’re not even human anymore. OK, lets carve him up.

I find the ones that read to be a lot less “Gamey”.

Human is a very heavy meat, so I’m slowly decreasing the oxygen and increasing the helium to see if that helps.

I don’t even think he know’s where he is.

“Ya see, here I put in this newspaper, ya know, to replicate his natural habitat.”

It’s ok son, they raise for this sole purpose…

“A sandwich is a sandwich, but a manwich is a meal! Capeesh?

“I don’t know why you want to eat that Republican. You know they don’t agree with you!”

I hear he only eats grass fed beef

Their leader has been sending us more of their bankers lately…

“Would you like fries with that?”

“Junior, i told ya when ya walk your new pet, Speck,he’d bite the paper boy!!”

Why give our dinner the last paper?

I am sick of these lawyer infested waters!

“Hey Mary, Have you seen the Orthodonists bill for Jr?”

All those books and he’s reading the comics! What a waste.

Alas, our special of the day. A well read human being, goes great with some salt and water.

I don’t care if he can read – It’s the National Enquirer after all – Throw him BACK!

Correction to previous comment:

“Now Harold, you know what the doctor said about eating right…a human a day keeps the doctor away.”

“Next time get me a tourist, they have much better taste in clothes”

“alright, now remember, we are acting like tourists asking for directions…”

Oh, that’s our “Smug”..don’t be fooled, he’s reading the funnies. Might I interest you in our house “jock”, they’re tender and much more pallatable..

Don’t give me crap about my “save the man” t-shirt. It was just yesterday they said global warming was a joke and humans were at the top of the food chain!!

How much Dolphin propaganda are you going to give this guy?

He’s not ripe yet; he’s still yellow.

I’m afraid his acid-washed jeans would give me heartburn.

Mom said “Spike!!! You were supposed to empty the litter box.” “Gross…. what have you been feeding him?” replied Spike.

Honey “How does Hal-e-butt sound tonight for dinner?

I’ll take that one with the white sauce and herbed rice, thank you.

they have a shelf live of 10 yrs.

I said I wanted him “real dead”, not “well read”

I said “breeding stock”, Not “reading socks”

…so you’re telling me that we evolved from one of these “lawyer” creatures?

Over here we have read meat. Did you know that Robsters cross their legs when they see prepositional phrases at the end of sentences.

Correct Sir, clubs are allowed, just make sure you don’t have more than 3oz. of shampoo.

He’s a reader, they’re usually too stringy.

“oh man, not another AIG exec, the one I ate last week had me on the toilet for two days…and look at the card attached to his foot, another gift from General Motors (GM)”

Are you thinking what I’m thinking?

YEAH! He’s hogging the Lifestyle section again!!!

Nice pet choice? He’s reading the litter box again.

Tastes like chicken!

It’s real good on top of seaweed salad.

I insisted they stock only healthy snacks in the shark school vending machines

Seaward ! Who knew our new Huchi bar would do so well especiially now since we added fresh Politician Hand Roll to the Menu.

C’Mon Man we’re the best two Loan Sharks around and you know he’s Good coming from that place Capitol Hill!!!

They’re called humans. We catch them in shallow waters mostly.

Honey do they really think we are going to snatch a bite of that bait?

He says they sunk when his crew refused to work. They were waiting around for a goverment bail out.

And this is the most dangerous of their species … The Great White Man!

I’m telling ya… Intelligence IS flavor!

take your pick
‘ when Bernie comes out to use the bathroom, you go for the family jewels and I’ll finish off his pompous arrogance’

‘lets swap that oxygen tank with nitrous oxide, he’ll laugh himself to death. ‘

if W thinks he can stay in there forever, we’ll bring in bar-b-que and set it just outside his reach. When he comes out for it we eat him alive

Doonesbury is ready to retire and when that oxygen tank runs out we’re taking over baby

Let him stay there till the whole mess is cleaned up. Just when he thinks its safe to go in the water again, we got him

I want this one, but I’m worried I will be hungry again in a half hour.

Honey, he looks like he is up to no good and he scaring me.

Look at that stupid grin on his face; if only he knew what was coming!

Where’s the Beef?

Bob takes his date to one of those fancy restaurants where you get to pick out your own fresh human

I think he’s reading the menu to see what vegetables he’ll be served with.

On this stop on our zoo tour we have an Unidentified Floating Object, or UFO, living in its native habitat.

I’ve heard that boiling the bones makes a nice broth.

Who cares if there’s not much meat on his bones, we’re just making broth!

That’s what they’re using for shark bait these days?

He’s Looking tonight menu..

People watching? We’re going to Atlantis next vacation!

“Let’s do the SNL ‘landshark’ bit. He’ll just think it’s performance art before dinner.”

Hey Fin, wanna go for a bite and a cup of croppy?

I’m just not finding something I can really sink my teeth into.

Don’t want to be picky but seems at least one of your finalists had 3 attempts rather than the required 2, no? perhaps I’m wrong and there are 2 people with same name so sorry if I am wrong…

Great blog ! many thank.

My cholesterol is fine! Now go get a fat one.