For the last time Bruno, I’m NOT going to be your “Monday Morning Quarterback!”

Sorry buddy, I only work out of the Shotgun formation.

You want me to put my hands where?!?!

You really should consider working out your right shoulder as much as you do your left one.

John, I can’t possibly get any work staring at your butt all day.

I guess it’s time to update our workplace dress code.

Next time just change the meeting time by email, don’t yell out audibles. Thanks.

Sorry I had to make you work on a Sunday.

I’m your boss, so no I won’t stand behind you and take the snap.

“Lighten up Mimi. The company’s running out of new bosses to replace the ones you’ve sent to the hospital.”

“…just another reason I hate fall.”

“Yes, it’s difficult to kick a bad habit, but in your case I’d be willing to make an exception.”

“I hired you to provide security, not offense.”

“Hey Bill, you laying brown eggs now?”

The boss said we need to “Hype” those new balls…

“Doris,I think we need the Doctor to check you`re Hormone Replacement dose.”

Wow! Bob took my speech about “Being a team player” literally.

Lost another bet huh jen? at least you shaved your legs this time.

No, I put the quarter back on your desk. There’s no Quarterback on your desk.

I told you you would get stuck in that position if you kept doing that at your age.

I already told you once Billy, I am not starting anyone on the team that shaves his legs.

It’s Monday morning “quarter-back”. “QUARTER-BACK” not “center” you dummy. Do you even watch football?

High school was 20 years ago, time to let it go.

HELP! My Back. MY BACK!!!

You nitwit, I said “go for a hike, not hut hut hike”.

“Waterboy II: Bobby Boucher goes to work”…opening this Friday.

I told you last week Tommy …Now he’s back no one actually believes you are “THE” Tom Brady

I can’t believe you actually put gatorade in the water cooler. You have gone WAY too far this time.

I think you’ll find Monday morning water cooler “trash talk” a little different here in New York than in your home town Ed

No! I will not “go long!”" We are in a 10 x 10 cubicle for Pete’s sake!

“Well that’s lucky Ed! I nearly wore the same outfit today!”

“I’m sorry?? Who were you looking for???”

“Sigh”….Chuck, this is the last time I am doing this today…so is it 10 yards and curl or is it 12?

“When I said I wanted a demonstration of leadership skills, this is not exactly what I had in mind.”

Carl, you have taken this fantasy football thing a bit too far now.

Favre FINALLY retires but still can’t seem to completely move on.

Yes John, I DO think you could actually play for the Lions, now will you get back to work!!!

I understand the protective gear but I’m not convinced you have the right materials required to wear that helmet… i.e. a brain.

“You know, Joe, I just decided that politics, religion AND SPORTS are my off-limit subjects.”

“Hey Phil, check out my new Patrick Sharp jersey man, TOUCHDOWN!”

“That’s a nice jersey Rooty, but the Blackhawks are a hockey team.”

“Timmy when we said, ‘Be prepared for tomorrow’s big team huddle,’ we weren’t talking football. Look at today’s meeting as more of a think tank.”

“Dang, I ain’t no good at fishin’!”

“The boss said he wanted to start the fourth financial quarter with an offensive position but I had no idea it was going to be like this!”

“I told you to dress for the big Monday night showdown.”

“I did. Dancing With The Stars starts at 8:00.”

“Is this why you asked to borrow Cindy’s maternity pants?”

I’m still waiting for Monday Night Synchronized Swimming.

This is not what I had in mind when I said we needed a new security system…

Would you mind telling me why my tea tastes like Gatorade…

Down…Set..Collate!

Coach Reed is caught in an awkward moment of re-living his glory days

Well, I guess you’re ready for this weeks marketing blitz!

So, this is the boss’s way of telling me to take a hike?

Looks like Ron has writer’s block.

And here, in the center of the office, is the Center of our office.

Snap it and GET TO WORK.

I know, our employees advise not to stand around and gossip at the water cooler, but I think you’re pushing it a bit too far, …Don’t you?

no i said i want my quarter back that you got from me for that coffee

now brett i told you to bring me your best game come monday, some how i think we have a communication problem.

Your work garb is completely offensive.

Not exactly what I meant when I said “try not to get so defensive over workplace critisisms”, but so long as you’re trying…

“Hire your brother” dad says! “Keep the company in the family,” he says!

Aw geez, Timmy drank the whole pot of coffee again..

Asking the boss for a raise again, Tommy?

I TAKE IT YOU DONT THINK I’M A TEAM PLAYER

I know, I know. Its 10:15 and its time time for you to “Drop off the Browns at the SuperBowl.” The joke is getting old, Connie.

Did you go to the Game yesterday Charles?

This water taste like Gatoraide

“Ron, this is Casual Friday not Casualty Friday.”

“Mr. Favre, when you interviewed you said you had given up football.”

“That’s right, you just charge right in there and demand a raise!”

“So, that was a jockstrap I saw hanging from the coat rack.”

“No really, you should stay away from the suits.”

“I am sorry Doris but that outfit does make your butt look big.”

JOHNSON, IN REGARD TO OUR DRESS CODE, HAVE YOU HEARD THE EXPRESSION “WHEN IN DOUBT, LEAVE IT OUT?”

Realizing he has forgotten the count, Larry pretends to relax near the water cooler.

Big Steverino, bent over hikin’ the ball. Steverinodingdong…the hiker maaan, hiking the baaall….

Hank we really need to talk about this need of yours to always be the center of attention.

Agent 12 is that you. I almost had Zigfried but I missed him by THAT much!!

John has taken being a Monday morning quarterback to the next level!

Joe, high school is over man.

Now, remember, when he sticks his hands in your crotch, you hike the ball and say “Happy Birthday, Mr. Pwesident.”

1) I’m calling an audible … you’re fired!

2) You want me to run to the copier and then cut left?

3) Ummm … when the boss said “Take a hike” … I think he meant something else

4) He said “Sales Blitz”

5) That uniform does nothing for you … ooooo snap!

I’m guessing that the boss has given you his pep talk about team spirit.

For God’s sake Tim this is H & R Block not a football field.

Ok, when I said take the reigns and be the quarterback on this project I didn’t mean it literally.

Look Mr. Tebow, I believe you were a great quarterback, but we sell insurance here…

Yes, our company won the contract but don’t even think about pouring anything over my head.

I forgot that it was casual monday today….

Oh Gertrude! That outfit does NOTHING for you! And when I said try some padding, I didn’t mean for your shoulders!

Give it up Gertrude! Even with the uniform, the guys aren’t going to let you play football with them after work. I know…I’ve tried. Damn my feminine ways!

“Uh-oh! Did I just hear something rip?” “Ummm…yeah. Oooo, drafty!”

I don’t know. Something tells me if you REALLY wanted to kill yourself you’d just go up to the roof and jump, instead of repeatedly trying to break through that plexi-glass window.

Sooo…your new boyfriend likes you to dress up in a football uniform and pretend to be a “tight end?” Hmmmm….girl, we need to talk!

Haven’t you been the center of attention long enough around here?

No thanx, I only like hockey players…..

“Could I have my Pecan Pie back,it`s my lunch break.”

we’ve have to stop meeting like this,the quarterback is getting suspicious.

Theven I told you, “Not in the offith!”

“I don’t think you understand the whole ‘life coach’ concept…”

“I’ll take the snap, but I’ve got to warn you that my hands are cold!”

Quit being a suck-up. The boss said there’s an opening in the office, not the offence.

I knew I shouldn’t have skipped my coffee this morning.

Hmmm. I think I need to be more clear about casual fridays.

Remember what happened to the last quarterback?

No.

“No wonder your eyes are watering,poor old short sighted Ethel thought you were the new Pencil Sharpener.”

So then I says ….then throw the dog out the window….. ha ha.
I tell you that one had em’ howling. Ah yes I must say I was the life of the party last night. Not surprising really.

Ned are you listening to me?

See, you never take anything serious. No wonder you were voted the most offensive person in the office.

This is an interesting approach to an interview…

So how does this eye black work?
I still see a glare of my cup!!!

Reallllly, you can long snap it over the monitor? Let’s see big guy…

Hey Junior, do you think the pin stripes make my shoulders look bulky?

Karl not wanting to risk heat stroke warmed up for the big game next to the water cooler.

So Jerry, how in the hell do you get your feet into those pointy cleats?

It was just a metaphor, Bob.

Yes, professional football IS a business Tom. It’s just not OUR business.

“Jones,how many times have I told you not to play with your Tortoise at work.”

Frank, please don’t make me swim-move past you again. You really aren’t that good of a center. Maybe you should try to be a Line Backer and go tackle some paperwork.

Hey Bob, Why don’t you audible yourself back to your cube and get some work done for once?

Terry Tate “office linebacker” is so 1990’s

Milton, There is a good reason why we are moving you to a “new office”.

Terry and the rest of the office is tired of Bob’s office schtick where he farts everytime he gets in a three point stance.

When he said, “Center it”, I don’t think he meant THAT! I mean, REALLY NOW!

Either you’ve snapped and are wearing a football uniform or the kid from the mailroom spiked the water cooler again.

Ooh, Say can you see…

1.”Brenda, I never knew you were such a big football fan.”
2.”Brenda, you never fail to surprise me.”

A stanislavski method actor by trade, Brad’s doctoral thesis goes horribly wrong

Marty’s need to give the blow-by blow of every football game was really beginning to get on his co-workers’ nerves.

I thought it was just an expression.

“I guess we’re all just glad you’re not a rodeo fan Mr. Fenton.”

“The boss just ixnayed bringing in the field goal unit.”

“Another month of missing your quota, another one on one with the boss, did you remember your cup this time Jim”?

Are you still constipated?

Consider yourself lucky – you didn’t have to watch “Accidentally On Purpose” last night.

Don’t tell me football weekend has become a three day weekend.

Did I fail to mention that i’m a black belt in KARATE!

HaHa good one i asked for a new pop-up blocker and this is what i get…

I only wanted to borrow his stapler

OK Seriously jokes over… Let me back in my cubby

OH look someone brought in some donuts

“My proctologist, Dr. Colonic, made me assume the same three-point position this morning.”

No more role playing for you! I said bend over and grab MY balls.

You look like the hunch back of Notre Dame and it’s not halloween yet.

I just love it when you grunt like that.

Cute, but you’re still not getting a hike in pay.

I agree, Mary Lou, you probably could help the Oakland Raiders.

That’s not what I meant when I asked if you scored last night.