I had no idea squids liked apples

whatever you do, don’t comment on his phallic-like head

“They say Mr Squidly has eyes in the back of his mantle”.

I heard that Professor Squidly always starts off the new school year talking about his famous part in 20,000 leagues under the sea.

“I hate JuCo. My math teacher can’t speak English and this guy is not even human!”

The school hired him to save money on ink pens

“No more talking, Johnny or I will come back there and ink all over you!”

“Yeah, I hear he even had his ink changed to red…hard core.”

I didn’t know teachers had bad hair days.

“Yeah right, I’m not gonna disect that!”

“So do you think he ate Mr. Smith before or after he graded our Science test?”

I think pranking the substitute teacher has gone a little to far.

He’s not so bad once you get past the fish breath.

You think he’s bad, wait’ll you see the arthropod we have in Science class!

AS A MATTER OF FACT YES I CAN SPANK ALL OF YOU

I told you he was a were-squid!

I hear he has a moonlighting job down at the local aquarium.

Do you think he would let borrow an ink pen?

I had her last year. She starts out all mean but she’s like really cool once you get to know her.

We’re in luck! Another spineless substitute.

I guess this is part of that whole “Change” thing the president is implementing…

Marine Biology has come a long way, my dad only had pictures in this class…

I think she’s gonna need a bigger ink blotter than that.

I think he is prejudice, he only gave books to Captain Nemo’s kid’s..

Where do they find these substitute teachers?

“Is he the new teacher’s pet?”

I am so tired of this guy standing up there and waving his arms all over the place, “preaching” about american history like he lived it or something.

Math is much easier when you are a Centipede.

Did ya hear that the teacher was accused of touchy-feely?

I really hate these entry level courses taught by grad students.

“Johnny and Tim think they have a shot, but nobody beats Mr. Squidford in a staring contest.”

Mr. Calimari is great. Especially with marinara.

Integration my ass, I’m transferring

“Brenda, Brandon, I’m sorry but you’re out. Simon didn’t say pass a note to your neighbor.”

I hear the other class has an old crab!

I heard you have to be really careful with this gut, he is really likes to use his paddle.

Finally, the School Board hired a science teacher with real world experience.

Show and tell has changed drastically in the past 20 years.

This class is “Sink or Swim.”

I first thought they bought him to fill up ink wells, but when he started teaching I about lost it.

Mr. Clovis promised an arm and a leg if you got the job. So far no one has come to collect.

Apple a day, my ass!

Yeah, Octomom isn’t much of a teacher. She’s like all over out there, ya know?

..if budget cuts need to be this extreme, just start giving us textbooks on tape.

At least when Mr. Jelly Fish was done with me, someone could pee on me and make me feel better….

“The teacher is taking Halloween way too seriously this year!”

I’ve been told Mr. Calamari makes his entry level woodworking class extemely challenging.

“Jacques Cousteau couldn’t make it in today*, so I’ll be teaching your Oceanography class today.”

* Cousteau was spotted stuck at a bus stop a few cartoons back.

” I think we”re gonna need the whole orchard for this one!”

“Class, take it from someone who was there: Captain Nemo was a wimp.”

“Word is Miss Price complained that she was only human & only had 2 hands!”

Feel like calamari for lunch?

Sadly, Ms. Squiddles was later fired for the unfortunate “inking” incident.

Mr. Calamari put up with a lot in his home ec.class, but talking during his sex education lecture would not be tolerated.

“I don`t think that Sea Food Diet is agreeing with Mr Puss.”

This is NOT what I had in mind when they called it a “hands-on learning experience”!.

“I don’t feel safe.”

“Ever have penis envy?”

“I’ve heard it prefers girls.”

“Got a rubber?”

“Yes, we have no brains.”

Mr. Inkfish decided to go with his new “octafarian” hairstyle to kick off the new school year.

Psst… Who’s the new guy?

Wow! This new teacher is really ink-redible…

In an effort to prove the School did not engage in age discrimination, it was, ironically, the english department that actually drafted the ad for an Octogenarian substitute teacher

How does he expect us to keep up with our notes?! He can write 8 sentences at the same time!!

I only have 8 arms you know…I can only do so much!

As the class waited, Mrs. Smith realized she’d run out of ink

As the Miller twins chatted, it was clear the new sub was about to ink herself

“Good morning class and welcome to ‘Typing 101.’”

“I think the teacher is a bit squidish about the start of a new school year.”

“I dare the teacher to try and reach me from her desk.”

“She’s supposed to teach us a new keyboarding technique…”

“Hey, anyone up for some calamari after school?”

“Which is it, arms on the desk or down by our side?”

“Is this Obama’s idea of better education?”

Hey Betty Lou, something smells fishy about this new teacher.

This is apparently going to be a “hands on” learning experience.

Watch what happens when I yell, “SHARK!”

I heard the teachers were a bit different at community college.

I knew we should have taken Biology instead.

She always gets this way just before parent-teacher conferences.

Squid pro Quo, Susie

“It must cost him a fortune in Shoes.”

Shhh dont talk mabey he want eat us.

Mabey we should throw a paper ball at him.

I herd this teacher killed aquaman.

This teacher is bad all he does is waves his arms in the sky and talk about him self.

The tenacles of indoctrination approach.

Anyone else find it inappropriate for this guy to be teaching sex ed?

And you thought YOU felt like a fish out of water this year!

Personally, I think he’s overcompensating for something.

“Does the the substitutes head look like a penis or is it just me”

Why does Mr. Squid always use blue ink when he corrects our assignments. All my other teachers use red ink.

This teacher is a real dickhead

I can’t beleive she charges us to refill our pens.

I watched her refill my pen and now I feel dirty.

Does anyone else think this should be on Pay Per View?

Just look at him! I’m telling you, he’s Lenny “The Squid” Corleone. I bet he’s part of the witness protection program!

Ok I get it….. Oceanography class with Mr Squidro but did he have to rename us. QUIET IN THE BACK MOBY DICK !!!!!!!!!

If he doesn’t give me an “A” for the semester, the next time he goes swimming my buddy, the Blue Whale, will be waiting for him.

I’ve got a funny feeling about this boat ride field trip. Why does she want us to oil and salt ourselves before we go?

“There must be something wrong with me-I`ve only got Two Testicles.”

How was I supposed to know my show-and-tell item would eat the teacher!

Hey, do you think the substitute knows this is Biology 101?

Hey, I’ll trade you my tuna fish sandwich for whatever you have!

Ouch. Prof. Cephalopoda is quick on the draw with the ruler whacks.

In some countries, she would be considered a delicacy.

This teacher sucks 10 times more than my other teachers.

Well yall said “We dare you to bring a gaint squid to class” So i did.To bad he is our new teacher since the principle for got to bring his glasses.

Mr. Chips thinks that dressing up like a squid will make this class more interesting.

“Oh…juggling, texting, not much else.”

Bobby to Jenny: “Penis head.”

“Watch it, kiddo! I may only have 2 eyes, but I have 8 legs!!”

…not my 1st thougt when I heard “Mainstream Schooling”.

You brought the apple?… Nice touch!

it’s hard to see in this light but one side is pissed and the other side is horney!

I told you this class is easier that “Hotel & Restaurant management”.

correction: I told you this class is easier than “Hotel & Restaurant Management”.

Mrs. Octopus our REAL teacher never makes us read Shakespeare.
Geezz!!

Our new marine biology teacher got his teaching degree through a Life Experience Degree program.

Her kids call her “Octomom”.

I hear that Billy the Squid is a tough grader.

This teacher makes me feel safe. He’s well-armed.

Hey ! do you notice something different about Miss Jones?

When I auditioned for “High School Musical Part 7: Little Mermaid Goes to School”, I honestly thought it was for a candid camera prank.

Since they cut her other swimming classes and Misses Squid has tenur, they gave her a few history classes to fill out her schedule.

Pfff! Don’t worry about it. Easy A!

I hear the Professor is really ‘hands on’.

My Squidish is a little rusty… Did he just say that instead of dissecting sea-life this month we were doing two legged mammals?

This completes the classroom portion of your SQUIDDITCH game training. Now go kick Harry Potter’s butt!

Gosh! I think Mrs. Grimm caught the squid flu!

“If you can get past the Shark stories he’s a pretty good teacher.”

“You didn’t think Detroit’s low graduation rate was because of the students?”

Hope he washes all 8 after he goes to the bathroom.

I got detention for bringing calamari for lunch.

Bet you he makes us do a book report on 20000 Leagues Under the Sea.

Not sure why but detention is always held in the pool.

“Costume Day is so dumb. Mr. Thompson is the only one who dresses up.”

“I wonder who they turned down for drivers’ ed teacher.”

“And I thought ‘Juggling the Books” would be an accounting course.”

“Laugh all you want, but his patty cakes skills are legendary.”

I think that double portion of cafeteria meatloaf is making me hallucinate.

“Spicoli! They replaced Mr. Hand with Mr. Tentacle!”

LOL!!!
Keith in Dallas for “his patty cake skills” caption. That’s hilarious!

Trust me, this teacher has no chance in trying to date a student like the last one.

If you would all please stop talking I would like to get a leg up on this next chapter.