Cartoon Caption Contests
Weapons Mart Cartoon Caption Contest
She's harboring quite a grudge.
This is the Splendid Marbles Cartoon Caption Contest, and the rules are pretty simple.
- Type a clever caption and place it in the comments section, along with a valid email address, and you could win a signed copy of the cartoon, with your caption and name attached (and you’ll be added to the Splendid Marbles gallery of caption contest winners.) (Check out all the winners of the caption contest.)
- You are allowed FIVE submissions.
- I will accept entries until midnight, Sunday, November 1st, 2009.
- I’ll select five finalists, which will be voted on starting noon Monday, November 2nd, 2009.
- That’s it!
Now take a minute to vote on last week’s “Lion Pool” contest.
Time to vote for your favorite "Lion Pool" caption.
- “I thought you said you were just coming in to pee!” - OZ (This was originally credited to Chucky B by mistake) (37%, 18 Votes)
- "$50 says you can’t take my zebra in a game of 9-ball." - Tim West (22%, 11 Votes)
- "The eight ball wouldn’t be in your mouth, would it? - Dan (20%, 10 Votes)
- "You gotta stop rubbing up against me when you make a shot… the guys are looking at us very oddly." - Jim (10%, 5 Votes)
- "I wasn’t expecting this. The brochure said, 'Play with a lion, like Joy Adamson in Born Free'." - Judith (11%, 5 Votes)
Total Voters: 49
Loading ...The winner of the “Squid School” caption contest is at the bottom (sorry for the crappy layout, but Wordpress is acting naughty again, completely ignoring my wishes.)
Magnificent job, Keith in Dallas.
The Cartoonist has a request: Give a shout out to the captions you like best (in the comment section) when you visit the site. It doesn’t guarantee that they’ll be selected at the end of the contest, but it let’s everyone know what you think is funny – and that’s important. And, if you don’t like the captions The Fiancee* and The Cartoonist select, let those inhabiting the Splendid Marbles Universe know – but please don’t throw a hissy fit because your caption was not selected (remember: humor is subjective); your opinions will be taken so much more seriously by everyone involved if you show your support for someone else’s submission.
*”The Fiancee” will become “The Wife” this Friday, October 30th (Woo-hoooo!!!). We’re getting married in NY State and planning a big bash for next spring. I am truly the most fortunate man in any and all universes, real or imaginary.
And, check out more cartoons and the winners of the caption contest in the Splendid Marbles Cartoon Gallery.
While you’re here, sign up for my feed so you can get some of the best in original political cartoons and commentary.
Please note: I will send out an email on Mondays to remind you about the contest. I will NOT pester you at any other time during the week, and I will NOT share your email with another living soul – or organization run by the living. AND, I will take you off of the list as soon as you request to be removed – just send a reply email with “UNSUBSCRIBE” in the subject line. Thank you, and have fun with this week’s cartoon. (Please be advised: I reserve the right to remove comments that contain foul language.)
Intellectual Property Statement: By submitting your caption(s) to SplendidMarbles.com, you agree that such caption(s) and the accompanying information will become the property of SplendidMarbles.com and you grant SplendidMarbles.com permission to publicly display and use the captions in any form or media for any and all purposes. Your submission also allows SplendidMarbles.com to edit, or adjust the caption for clarity and language. In return for submitting captions, SplendidMarbles.com will give you name recognition every time your caption is published.
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Tags: caption-contest, cartoon image, Cartoon-Caption-Contest, Cartoons, consumer cartoon, granny cartoon, humor, weapon cartoon Discussion
169 comments for “Weapons Mart Cartoon Caption Contest”
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Main Marbles
- No categories
“Yes, this model CAN strike at your ‘evil Bingo caller’, but you’ll still need a licence.”
Did you know it’s “buy one get one free”?
Ma’am, I’m going to need to see some I.D.
Paper or plastic?
Well Laura Bush, what a pleasant surprise! Would you like me to put this on your tab?
“Price check on aisle 10!”
“No, Mrs. Jones I can’t gaurantee ‘afternoon delight’. I don’t think your supposed take the lyrics literally.”
I still don’t know if this model is for you, but like they say, the customer is always right, the batteries are included with the instructions, and thank you for shopping at Debbie’s House of Pleasure.
Mrs. Thomas, I’m just not sure this is the bird bath that you were looking for.
no receipt?….no refund !…..NEXT
“I understand that Granny Sims, but I don’t think your concealed carry license applies to this product.”
would you like some help out to your car?
“The add said ’sale on new clearance items’ not nuclear.”
Price check on isle 10…..
I think you should try the newer model, it comes with GPS!
Asking Herbie Hancock to head up their subliminal add campaign was working beautifully.
“And you say you bought this here?”
” I bought myself one of these last week and I just love it!”
I’m very sorry to hear that you did not win the “Garden of the Year” award this time, but I think there is a better way to handle this.
No one outdoes Independence Day at Grandma Cheney’s house.
Oh, you wanted a rock-ER?
I think if your having problems with your neighbors, your first call should be to the police.
Why yes, ACME carries a whole line of anti road runner products, the giant rubber bands are on isle 11.
I didn’t know the Daughter’s of the American Revolution was such a militant group.
“You know you still have a couple years before December 21st 2012…”
I realize your son has a thing for lions and your grandkids are stuck in school with a squid for their teacher…. BUT..Suicide by rocket can’t be the way..
“Um, I’d recommend Kevorkian over this Madame.”
The level of gossip and animosity at Betty’s Beauty Parlor has just been taken up a notch.
“So, you plan to be the first Granny to the moon, huh?”
Gertrude, are you sure the assisted living facility is going to be okay with this?
Old Maude McGillacuddy didn’t understand why “Rocket” was in a salad recipe, but she always listened her favorite “BBC” chefs.
That’s a great question….
I have no idea how you can get it out to your car.
Debit or Credit?
“May I see your ID, Ma’am?”
“Grandma, little Billy wanted a toy rocket, not the real thing”.
I guess if you plan to do some damage, this is the way to do it!
Oh no no no, I can’t sell you this. I can see the headlines now, “Local Woman Becomes Worlds First ‘Granny Grenade’.
Big Toy Story fan huh… Well this rocket will take you and 3 friends to infiniy and beyond.
First class or economy?
“And if this fails to relieve your Constipation,I`ll order you a special Suppository from our shop at Cape Kennedy.”
“I’m sorry, but government regulations REQUIRE that I see proof of citizenship…”
“It’s part of our new ‘Express Delivery’ program”
Yes, I’m sure your grandson will enjoy this model, Mrs. Gunderson.
“Another rocket ma’am? I think it’s going to be a long, long time…”
After all these years, I’m finally going to go bang, pow to the moon.
“Yes ma’am… I’m pretty sure the limit is one per terrorist…”
“Are you sure your husband didn’t ask you to dress like a Rockette, ma’am?”
These things are a blast.
Yes, it is cheaper than a nursing home.
Would you like that gift wrapped ma’am?
This will definitely get your husbands attention!
“Sorry ma’am, but we don’t carry the fuel in this store for security reasons.”
“It should completely destroy the shuffleboard court.”
“Lawn and Garden please call extension 10. Lawn and Garden extension 10 please.”
It’s just like the one we sold your husband and his girlfriend. If you leave now you can catch up.
“Throw away the rocket. I just need the box.”
M’aam, I’m sorry but I’d card my own grandma too!
“And every customer who bought this model said they were `Over The Moon`with it`s performance.”
Do you have someone to pick you up when you get there?
Maam, You are going to need panties if you want to ride this.
“Does it come with GPS?”
I’m sorry Ma’am. I don’t think is what your husband meant when he said he was going to take you to heaven tonight!
“One of these days, Alice, I’m going to fly you to the moon…”, your husband threatened, and now you decided to beat him to it???
She has taken extreme offense to the new public health care program.
Shooting projectiles at congress does not mean they will take their heads out of the sand, ask Bin Ladin.
Would you like me to gift wrap this for you?
“Madam, I promise you this isn’t a pencil sharpener.”
“yes, you pay NASA $90 thousand, they stick you inside and launch you and your rocket casket to bomb the moon in search of water.”
“For the last time, no, this is not Chunky Cheese.”
I don’t understand why I have to wait 3 days.
“Yes, here at Fireworks on Steroids we aim to please.”
“Thankfully, the Disney on the Potomac is out of our service delivery area.”
“Sorry……I’m closed.”
BEST WISHES FOR A LONG AND HAPPY LIFE TOGETHER CARTOONIST AND WIFE!
Congratulations!
“Will you need help with this to your car?”
“Where’s the exit? I guess anywhere you want!”
“um.did you happen to notice where the barcode is?”
“This isn’t for the lion in the bar next door, is it?”
“Why yes, remarkably, this is provided under your National Health Coverage.”
“Errr..Madame you DO realize that this is part of our “is the moon made of cheese” dairy display?”
“Yes Mrs Armstrong, I think your husband WILL be surprised!”
“Lady…so how long ago was it that you pressed that green button?”
what do you mean the clock on this coffee maker is defective, well it is moving backwards.
“I don’t know if this qualifies for an AARP discount.”
mam did you check out our price on the missal silo on isle 24 is a real bargain.
i am really sorry mam, i will try and get the users manual from my vendor as soon as he get back from iran
*** Note the following is not a caption…***
Congratulations on the impending nuptials!
Mr’ Bush’s approval ratings will not change, no matter how many WMD’s you find.
I’m sorry. This won’t help you become the next Secretary of State OR win a Nobel Peace Prize.
Yes, when you die we guarentee we will fly you to the moon.
You think I can fit in that?
So I’ll make history. The first old lady to the moon. I’ll take it.
you need a good driving record and good vision to purchase this product.
no. it’s not a toy.
Wow Grandma! That’s quite a souvenir.
Um, I’m going to need a price check for a Big Rocket.
This is going to be the best 4th of July EVER!
“Yes Maam. This should take care of any nuisance you may have.”
“I’m sorry, you can’t get a refund because your 30 days are up. But, you can exchange it for store credit.”
You should see the penny jar she’s going to use to pay for this thing!
Well, placing this in your yard with a “do not touch” sign on it should keep those pesky neighborhood kids away after the first time they touch it.
Maam, with all due respect, we’re not Nordstrom!
Aunt Betty once again tries returning the Christmas present from her least favorite daughter
I’m sorry, ma’am. The warranty specifically does not cover “replacement of parts broken if rocket is used as a sex toy”.
Our novelty pencils get bigger every year.
Would you like a rocket launcher with that, ma’am?
Enjoy your rocket, ma’am. It’ll be a great addition to your collection of Weapons of Mass Destruction.
Is it fun being married to Rocket Man?
“Why, yes, this model will definitely help you make a statement… Namely: don’t mess with granny.”
“Yes, Mrs.Cheney, we can gift-wrap.”
It was at the rocket store that Edna realized two things: for her birthday Alice really wanted a LOCKET; and, it was time to change that darn hearing aid battery.
“Ma’am…I’m sure your daughter-in-law meant nothing by that remark.”
“Well, this should certainly add some spice to your marriage.”
“So, the neighbor’s dog keeps dropping small gifts on your lawn, huh?”
Ever since the President discontinued the missile defense system, we’ve had quite a run on these babies.
“Don`t bother wrapping it,I`ll ride it home.”
Thank you very much, Sandy (The Wife-to-be thanks you as well)!
Not the most subtle way to hold up a store…
Thanks very much, Lynn; my future wife thanks you as well. And, thanks for keeping this site entertaining.
“There will be no “Grandma got ran over by a reindeer this year”
or
“Yes ma’am I believe you could knit a launch pad for this.”
“im just stocking up before that socialist president of ours takes away my 2nd ammendment rights”
You will surely make it to Atlantic City faster than anyone else
I’m sorry ma’am but your going to have to purchase that buggy, the fine print clearly stated how to transport this item….
Well of course Ms. Webbs your husbands ashes will finally see china this way
“Mom, you don’t have to buy this now. SplendidMarbles has set a date.”
“I think you`d better let your Son-in-Law out the rocket,I know you`d like to scatter his Ashes in space but isn`t he supposed to be dead first.”
Congratulations to you and your fiancee Greg! So what happened when the brilliant cartoonist married his beautiful best girl? They lived a long and extremely happy life together.
So Granny Callahan, are you upgrading from a magnum now?
Please don’t test the fire-up button again. You just knocked your poor old husband all the way back to the produce section!
So Miss Jane, still having a problem with your neighbors feeding the squirrels?
Greg – There were a several that we really liked, but two made us really laugh out loud. “No receipt?” by Modom, and “No one outdoes Independence Day” by Tyler Pomeroy.
Ever since offering senior discounts, Mrs Tidley has become a shopaholic.
‘I don’t pay that boy to run over my tulips, I pay him to cut the grass! This should help him remember.’
Mrs Tindsdale thought she’d pick up some more arrows for her husband’s hunting trip this weekend before she went to her eye exam appointment.
I’ll bet you missed our sale on aisle 5 for Howitzer tanks.
I don’t think I can gift wrap this. Would a bow do ya?
No problem, I can get the manager to take it to your pickup.
Psst. You can get this cheaper on Rockets.com.
Catch your husband cheating again?
“So it’s the same sad story – another crochet deal gone bad.”
“No, sorry. I don’t know how to strap it to your Harley.”
“Well, Aunt Bee, are we about to see the underbelly of the bake sale wars?”
“no sorry. I don’t know how to strap ‘this baby’ to your Harley.”
Oh… you said chocolate. For some reason I thought you said rocket.
I like your dress.
I’ve already explained to you Mrs Patterson, we don’t do refunds…
Is this piñata for your retirement party?
What do you mean “Can I pay in change?”
Enjoy your purchase. I hope you have a blast!
Sorry ma’am,there are no test drives.
Did you have anything to trade in?
“Yes ma’am, this will be perfect to shoot down balloon boy.”
I thought you ordered one twelve-foot rocket ship shaped like a dildo. I never would have guessed you wanted twelve one-foot dildos shaped like rockets.
Stop forgetting that I gave you your change back.
For $1 more, you can ’supersize’ that…
Oh, I see what you mean now about “clean-up in aisle 11.”
Let me guess… big Elton John fan?
If you want to get to heaven you’ve got to raise a little what?
I’m sure this will quiet your noisy neighbors maam.
“I love the smell of A-bomb in the morning!”
Paper, plastic or bio-hazard bag?
“I’m going to mount this like Major T.J “King” Kong in “Dr. Strangelove” and then…”
(By the way, you didn’t set the clock back for winter. At the time of this posting (EST), it is 11:56 PM).)
Let’s hear Mary gossip about this!
The retirement home will soon regret the eviction of Grandma.
?? Grandpa got run over by a rocket.??
“Paper or plastic?”
“I’m sorry ma’ ,but your item is not included in our return policy.”
Well,… since you asked my personal opinion then yes, I do think size matters.
Well,… since you asked my personal opinion then yes, I do think size matters.