So you really think dressing up as cowboys is going to help us meet women?

We’ve been at this three weeks, pardner, and I still weight exactly the same!

You look ridiculous! Who rides a horse with tennis shoes?

“Wow Riding off into the sunset has never been so beautiful than on a 32 in HD Plasma TV!”

Oh… Gunsmoke-day is next week…

Well all be… Cookie is a natural at chuck wagon aerobics.

No, I don’t think my ex-wife recognizes us.

The manager said these machines need more horsepower,but it doesn’t seem to help.

I’m not feeling the burn yet…

Do you think our hats will distract anyone?

I miss the wide open spaces…

I think this is the future…

“Sauna next?

I’m setting mine at ‘trot’ so I don’t get too tired.

Told ya the spin class would not work out.

The sign said “Free Trainer”

“Ha! Suckers.”

Nothing like a twofer gym membership!

I thought those two naked guys in the elevator were kidding, but this place really is animal friendly.

Real men ask for directions.

Oh, cheer up Slim. That young filly up there isn’t right for you anyway.

Wanna get in the slow lane lady, we’re trying to pass!

I still say we should have taken a LEFT at Albuquerque!

“you sure this is what Hal meant when he said to exercise the horses??”

Just doesn’t seem like we’re getting anywhere?

We’re standing still and she’s runnin to beat-the-band. And we’re here because…..?

Skeeter, the magic is gone, plastic horses, temp controlled rooms, and virtual plasma sunsets. (sigh) Let’s get a beef smoothie and mosie on home.

“Horses: Back Row Only” What’s up with THAT rule?

Who says the scenery never changes unless yer the lead horse?

I think she’s reaching fo her gun!

The vet said that whiskey was OK for my men, but no more “Beer For My Horses”.

After months and months of hitting the gym Morris and Moe finally got rid of their saddle bags.

Wild Bill told me he roped a fine lookin’ lady at this here gym

I hear they let you bring a sheep in the sauna too

After this I gotta take my best milk cow, Bessie, to do yoga

I reckon I burned 1,000 calories moseying earlier

I’m on a strict grits-only diet right now

I cant reach the on button

I had no idea a Gold’s Gym membership included new equipment!

I reckon this aint what the boss meant by helping out on the mill today….

billy i’m gonna try a different saloon, i don’t think we read that sign out front right- GIN AND SALOON- they got funny spelling these parts- GYM & SALON

“What do you say we get a wheat grass smoothy after our the massage/pedicure combo?

There’s no way we’ll catch up to those rustlers!

Did I just hear that guy behind me say something about a horse’s a$$?

I take it you and Buttermilk signed up for the family rate too?

Health club HORSE PLAY.

PLEASE NOTE NEW EMAIL ADDRESS–MAKE THE CHANGE IN YOUR ADDRESS BOOK.

Watch out, Tex, That filly over there don’t take kindly to spurs.

What’s that smell?

How much longer? My ass is starting to cramp up!

Why don’t I ever get to pick what exercise we do?! Maybe Bessie and I would like to go swimming or lift some free weights once in awhile! Did you ever think of that?!

“Instead of going to the West, this is a much better idea.”

I know you loved the movie BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN, but this is going too far!

I hate having to keep putting quarters in.

Hey Jim, you got another quarter? I think mine is busted.

Dude, what would the Duke say if we quit now?

There’s no way I’m wiping down the equipment after what your horse just did…

I’m beginning to think these ain’t slot machines.

Back home they would tar and feather any school marm who dressed like that.

Everything’s been going downhill since we lost the ranch..

Sign says “clean machine after each use” hope you didn’t forget the shovel!

Things will pick up when we get to the roping part of the challenge.

Don’t think I’ll ever adjust to the city life…

unemployed cow-poke, how about you?

Bouncing like that she’s liable to dislocate somethin’ that shouldn’t never be dislocated.

What? She has already ran 5K… John, let´s go at a gallop!

You know, Joe, that ‘Home on The Range’ thing just seems a little outdated these days.

Hey, wait a minute… Hand over that mask! You’re supposed to be Tonto this time!

I still don’t know why using a threadmill would make me feel more fit. I’ve been on this thing for five hours and don’t feel any fitter!

Next week on “The Biggest Loser…”

At least they are playing the AMC channel..

Shall we do easy intervals or Tabbata?

Exercisin’ the horses ain’t what it used to be.

“…we just might be a redneck.”

This is definitely a fast track to no where.

I’m really enjoying this year’s staycation.

“Well, pardner, we came here to meet singles, so what’s your pleasure – City Slickers or Brokeback Mountain?”

This kinda takes the edge off the ol’ saying, “kicking up dust.”

“Where d’ya suppose them two up front left their horses?”

“I feel a ‘yeehaw’ coming on – how about you?”

“Let me know when you see a saloon up ahead – I’m working up a powerful thirst!”

My GPS says, “Turn right in 500 feet”.

“Johnny, I got a sneaky suspicion we ain’t doing this right…”

“Alright, this is a stick up! What do you mean you don’t have any pockets?”

Every now’n agin one runs right off the machine thar and we have to go’n rope ‘em back in line.

‘Cording to this machine here, I’m fit as a fiddle; pulse ain’t changed a lick.

Ah, this is why I love detective work.

I’ll be right back; I need to use that tree over there.

“..wanna race?”

“These here cattle drives sure have changed.”

“…yea, I’d like to mosey on.”

“…beats a night of sleeping under the stars.”

“I still got a stiff horse.”

Old Bessie here lost 12 pounds in the sauna, I hope nobody slips on it.

“I don’t think she called me the “lone” ranger as a compliment.”

You can lead a horse to a treadmill but he can’t help you lose weight.

“Man this quicksand setting is hell!”

“So, you ready to go hit the hip-hop bullriding room?”

You ever wonder why we’re fat?

Clint Eastwood’s sequel “Million Dollar Pony” went straight to video.

“I TOLD YOU COWBOY-CARDIO WOULD CATCH ON, THE BRANDING CLASS IS ALREADY FULL”

Yur right Amos, this is better than looking at Cow’s behinds.

Exercise-I Wish I could Quit you!

the original cast of Bonanza gearing up for a reunion

Did I ever tell you the time I was almost scalped by a blood thirsty lawyer at the water cooler?

Someone needs to put a feed-bag on that one, she’s getting too skinny!

“Trust me Bill nobody respects cowboys who ride fat horses”

“So Bill tell me..how are we going to get off without stepping in the piles of crap behind us?”

“I’m telling you a gym is where you pick up chicks and chicks dig cowboys. This plan is flawless.

You ever feel like, no matter how hard you work, you’re just not gettin’ anywhere?

These horses need all the exercise they can get, since if we drink it won’t really be an HUI A.K.A. Horsebacking Under the Influence.

I give exercise to my horse before I give it to my men

Let’s put the horses back in the trailer. My butt is getting sore.

“I think we oughta tip the towel boy. He ain’t gonna be too happy wiping down this machine.”

Enos, I think we have become too citified.

Moments later Sugarfoot got spooked and left behind a trail of toned yet mangled gym members.

Truthfully, Travis thought the Texas treadmill trotting trend typified tedium.

I think We took a wrong turn in Albuquerque…

Passing behind the horses to get to her yoga class, Edna tragically learns how “Sir Kicks A Lot” got his name.

I don’t like the looks of those Indians on the NordicTrack…

Ya know this aint gonna doe us any good unless we give up Smoking..

I think eight furlongs is enough for today, let’s go to the hay bar.

Stop humming the theme to RawHide its embarrassing.

Hey Bob, why ain’t these folks on their horses?

Pff, Chuck who? We need our own show: Walker, Treadmill Rangers.

Fact: It’s easy to spot bodyguards from the Wild West.

“Damned suburban sprawl.”

I wish Bill never would’a got that Wii Fit thing. He never brings Chester to the gym anymore.

I’m going to fire our scout, he informed me that many cows were spotted here. WRONG COWS!!!

I’m tired today. Let’s just set ‘em on “mosey”.

So, do you think the horseshoes count as lifting weights?

Buttercup and I are really only here for the sauna.

Now that there’s what we call a honky tonk badonky badonkadonk.

saw
…can
…not
…un-see

This “Time Travel” hokum ain’t all it’s cracked up to be.

Yep mah hat IS on back’word.
What of it?

I told you, Sam, all the women here ain’t nothin’ but skin and bones.

They said this would make our butts smaller?!

Why do you reckon they call this place Gunslingers Gym?

“It wasn’t me!”

“It was the horse.”

The rodeo isn’t what it use to be.

Do you not sometimes feel like we’re going nowhere?

So which mountain did you say you broke your back on?

“Where’s the HOV treadway?”

“All this runnin’ in place gonna make us ‘pear as healthy as a horse!”

“I think I saw this same type of discrimination once on an episode of “Allie McBeal”!”

And we thought our horses were slow!

“One hoof, two hoof, three hoof, GO!”

Do not run as fast as if the horse jump after you!

“This is so much easier than the Jazzercise class we took them to.”

“Where are the Hot dogs and beans?”

Never figured we’d have to worry about bein’ drygulched ion the steam room.

Gets kinda boring herding these here exercise nuts, don’t it?

so you’re saying the glue will stick better if we exercise em first?

This road has a pile of poop, like, every couple of feet!