Cartoon Caption Contests
“Jail Rat” Cartoon Caption Contest
Yes, the rat is smoking a cigarette.
This is the Splendid Marbles Cartoon Caption Contest – the one that kicks the New Yorker’s ass each and every week. (That’s right, I’m talkin’ to you, New Yorker magazine – has anyone seen my meds?)
- Type a clever caption and place it in the comments section, along with a valid email address, and you could win a signed copy of the cartoon, with your caption and name attached (and you’ll be added to the Splendid Marbles gallery of caption contest winners.) (Check out all the winners of the caption contest.)
- You are allowed FIVE submissions.
- I will accept entries until midnight, Sunday, August 29th, 2010.
- I’ll select five finalists, which will be voted on starting right around noon Monday, August 30th, 2010.
- That’s it!
PLEASE NOTE: THERE ARE TWO CONTESTS TO VOTE ON THIS WEEK!
First, you must break a tie in the “Must Clean” caption contest:
Brings back fond memories...
Break the tie between these two extra fine captions, from the "Must Clean" contest.
- "Yes, I know I should stay low to the floor-but it’s filthy!!!" - Kevin M. (53%, 53 Votes)
- "I finally discovered a way to get rid of the cat hair!" - Brandon (47%, 47 Votes)
Total Voters: 100
Loading ...And now, cast a vote for your favorite “Gym Cowboys” caption:
Where do the horsies change?
Time to vote for your favorite "Gym Cowboys" caption.
- “I’m telling you a gym is where you pick up chicks and chicks dig cowboys. This plan is flawless."- Jordan Elliker (42%, 48 Votes)
- “Damned suburban sprawl." - Eric (28%, 32 Votes)
- "Real men ask for directions." - Judith (13%, 15 Votes)
- "You ever wonder why we’re fat?" -bernie S. (10%, 11 Votes)
- "Shall we do easy intervals or Tabata?" - Russ (7%, 7 Votes)
Total Voters: 113
Loading ...T-SHIRTS ARE NOW AVAILABLE! All hail Cap’n Crunch! I’ve created a swell new t-shirt, with the help of Adobe CS3 and the folks at CafePress. If you’ve won the contest, have been a finalist, OR, if you’ve submitted at least 20 captions over the past 6 months, I can create a customized shirt for you. (If you have a preference for another product, say a coffee mug, or a hat, or maybe you fancy bazookas or other types of field artillery, I can have CafePress plaster my cartoons with your logos on them as well – except maybe the weapons, I have to check on that.) Just send the cartoon by contest name, your caption and full name to: splendidmarbles at gmail dot com.
Here’s a shot of the shirt:
No country club will deny you entry now!
CLICK HERE if you would like one of your very own (there are two more styles available and some designs I came up with a little while back, just click “Back to Shop” on the link.) By the way, the sign on the yard says: Splendid Marbles / inquire within.
And, check out more cartoons and the winners of the caption contest in the Splendid Marbles Cartoon Gallery.
While you’re here, sign up for my feed so you can get some of the best in original political cartoons and commentary.
Please note: I will send out an email on Mondays to remind you about the contest. I will NOT pester you at any other time during the week, and I will NOT share your email with another living soul – or organization run by the living. AND, I will take you off of the list as soon as you request to be removed – just send a reply email with “UNSUBSCRIBE” in the subject line. Thank you, and have fun with this week’s cartoon. (Please be advised: I reserve the right to remove comments that contain foul language.)
Intellectual Property Statement: By submitting your caption(s) to SplendidMarbles.com, you agree that such caption(s) and the accompanying information will become the property of SplendidMarbles.com and you grant SplendidMarbles.com permission to publicly display and use the captions in any form or media for any and all purposes. Your submission also allows SplendidMarbles.com to edit, or adjust the caption for clarity and language. In return for submitting captions, SplendidMarbles.com will give you name recognition every time your caption is published. (SplendidMarbles.com is owned and operated by Greg Strid.)
Here’s this week’s cartoon again:
Prison really does suck.
Similar Posts:
- “Roach TV” Cartoon Caption Contest
- Couch Potato Trap Caption Contest
- “Potty Hand” Cartoon Caption Contest
- “Gym Cowboys” Cartoon Caption Contest
- “Not Quite Nude” Cartoon Caption Contest
Tags: caption-contest, cartoon, cartoon image, Cartoon-Caption-Contest, Cartoons, cockroach cartoon, humor, jail cartoons, prison cartoon, rat cartoon, roach cartoon Discussion
181 comments for ““Jail Rat” Cartoon Caption Contest”
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Main Marbles
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“I heard they are requesting to be cellmates.”
Just what we need is another prison gang.
Is it really more humane than extermination?
Waldo is the dumbest rat in the world. He can’t figure out how to dig his way out.
STOP BUGGING ME!
When the judge said “life”, I just laughed. I’m already six weeks old!”
“Jimmy…I said I wanted to meet with the Aryans…not the Aliens!”
Yeah, it’s pretty creepy at first, especially when people have run screaming from you your whole life! But eventually you’ll get used to the staring.
Why are we fighting?! You know they’re going to eat both of us anyway!
My cell is HUGE!
I’ll shoot you for top bunk. No…seriously…
“The food here is terrible.”
You’re voluntary too? I think we’re the only ones!
Next parole hearing, I know they’ll see I’m a changed man!
Apparently no one likes a rat in here.
With my reproducing talents and your resilience to well….everything, we’ll quickly be able to take this place over.
Of course YOUR not scared, you’ve got exoskeletal armor!
“You see, grasshopper, this is the house of pain, so jump around!”
My brother, his name is Splinter. He takes guys that would eat you for breakfast and teaches them to speak Italian.”
You are the only exo-thermic prisoner here, and that is why you’re going to get it.
You signed up for the free vacation too?
The appeal has been filed, but this time we’re getting a PETA lawyer!
You stick with me and we can have everyone running like crazy!
Punk! You guys who live on the north side of the tree… ah, it doesn’t matter at this point. Give me some wing.
Don’t look, but the unlicensed Orkin man is here too!
I’m going to tell this guy here I do, but only because you asked.
We never ate this well on the outside!
Rock-paper-scissors for who gets to rummage through the garbarge this week.
Apparently, trapping a human is illegal. What did you do?
Yeah, when Lassie needs help PETA is all over it. How about us?
At least I can use my tail to pick up the soap!!
The walls of this prison are set vertically in a trench five feet deep and are topped with barbed wire but it took me only 3 minutes to break in.
Do you think he’s going to “rat”us out?
Once a RAT, always a RAT.
They are all complaining that our life sentence is a lot shorter then theirs.
What makes you think I’m a friend of the warden–Is it that I have the only jacket with gray sleeves?
Listen here you coch-a-roach you better stay out of my silverware.
Your kind may be around long after I am gone, but there is not a walled maze I can’t escape.
Take the bald ones to the lab and see how they do in the maze.
Some fancy dress party this is,they`ve all wearing prison uniforms.”
You stay on your side…I’ll stay on mine….we don’t like your kind here….get me!!!
Politicians and their relatives plan a breakout.
Please use my new email address–see above.
Let’s settle this like men; we’ll agree to settle our differences and then it’s every man for himself!
Don’t turn your back on anyone; that’s how I got you for a cell-mate!
Yeah! I know what a raid is like!
Chernobyl Penitentiary was never the same after the nuclear meltdown.
Archie and The Blade were meek folk, but because of their costumes, the other prisoners kept their distance.
With 3,543 children between them, Robert and Carter did not look forward to visiting day.
The prison yard was calm until a new prisoner screamed and snuffed out Charlie with a big shoe.
I didn’t catch the first part Charlie, but it was some sort of motel they unloaded for you this morning!
So you are in for dysentery and typhoid aye? Not bad not bad. I took out a 1/3 of Europe. Beat that!
“Seriously Cockroach, I can’t be the only rat in this place, we’re in prison!”
“I think they’ve bugged the exercise yard in an attempt to find the rat.”
Something tells me we should both start wearing pants.
The off-OFF Broadway rendition of “Pest Side Story!”
“Don’t call me a Rat..You FILTHY COCKAROACH”
“Welcome to protective custody medium securtiy prison. We’re all rats, rapists, and pedophiles in here. Whats your story?”
“It’s a good thing we don’t Bathe ’cause you don’t want to be in the showers with these guys. Just ask Tony here.”
Okay, you’re not the kind of roach I was looking for.
“I think I have a plan to escape. Yes..it’s really good, and yellow, and delicious..Ah Dang I was thinking of Cheese again! Never mind.”
“Those three back there? They’re known as the sisters. Trust me, you don’t want to fly around their cell light.”
Pauly says you’re a rat, then your a rat, That’s how all the other inmates see you. No one questions Pauly around here, it bugs him.
Pass the word, tonight we break out of this rat hole.
“of course I know how it feels to be different Ralph…you’d never know it, but I was the new guy too once upon a time”
Yes, I’m the jail rat and you are the jail roach, but where are all the jail birds they keep talking about?
Furries in Prison
“Our unique vacations combine the luxury of a world class resort with the creature comforts of home. You can enjoy cool breezes on your semi – private window balcony, warm yourself in front of a roaring mattress fire, or even entertain guests with home-cooked meals in our spacious central kitchen.”
“Honestly, I can’t believe I didn’t think of it sooner.. This place is like Epcot. Why just yesterday I visited Enzo’s cell…it was like a taste of Italy.”
“I guess I do feel like a cliche now that you’re here.”
“Chow time for inmates is 7 a.m., noon, and 6 p.m. We eat at 7:45, 12:45, and 6:45 unless they’re having Mac & Cheese for dinner. Than we eat anytime between 6:15 and 9:30.”.
“Actually these are our bowling shirts. It’s league night.”
You want me to be your WHAT!?
I wanna know why we didn’t get any pants!
I have been to some really crappy “hotels” before, but never seen a roach like you.
Remember, if we can build a better mantrap the world will beat a path to our door.
Good news, Warden, the last escapee and his cousin/fiance’ were just captured in Arizona.
YEAH BOB AND I TRY BRAKING OUT LAST WEEK,BUT THEY HAD RAT TRAP SET UP,AND BOB WENT FOR THE CHEESE WHILE I WENT BACK TO MY CELL.
RAT:Hay fea do you see the food they serving in here? Fea:yeah i do it look like trash and taste like bobo.Rat:what are you talking about? I eat this kind of food befor i got here,this is heven.
hay what do you call a person who tells on someone? A RAT
That’s not what I meant what I said I was smoking a roach.
Who’s your taylor? He did a great job on customizing your shirt!
Tomorrow,we’ll break out this join.I know i said this for 15year Fea but i mean it this time.
“is it just me, or are we the only ones in here without pants? We dont stand a chance do we?”
Hay who you calling a RAT?I only tell on people i dont like.
HAY WHO YOU CALLING A RAT!
You know you are realy starting to bug me
I got fifteen years and no parole. I hear you cockroaches are from way back in the dinosaur days…You been here THAT long?
Dont you think this one is perfect for the part of the cat in this years prison production?
I know this one is perfect for the part of the cat in this years production.
My pet Ratty is fighting over me with my new pat Buggy.
Oh rats…roaches
And so the war began… Jimmy “The Bug” Calhoon refuses to return Franky “The Rat” Matthews’ hive five.
“I tole you! I ain’t got no cheese!”
“Hi there and welcome to Pest Control.”
“Roach? I’m surprised they’re allowing you to stay in a No Smoking facility.”
“Don’t ever turn your back on them and you’ll be ok.”
“yea, I fell through the cracks of the system.”
“They keep injecting us with these growth hormones and we can step over that wall.”
The Big House eh? Last time I listen to you!
“What we have here is failure to communicate.”
“Anybody looks like that has gotta be named Lucille.”
“Anybody caught playing grab-ass spends a night in the box.”
“And if you play your cards right, I’ll show you where I hide my lighter.”
“For a price, I’ll see what I can do about getting you a job in the kitchen.”
I don’t think we’re in Narnia anymore…
I don’t know why they keep calling me Rat. My name is Steve.
“I was told there would be cake”
“WOW, those make-shift hallucinogens that Tiny gave me are REALLY starting to kick in”
im not a rat, honest i didn’t turn you in bug.
You screamed raid in a bank, just because you saw a can of bug spray?
Nobody messes with The Big Cheese…I will squash you like the bug you are.
Who you callin’ Rat-Face, Bug-brains?
PETA will get us out of here in no time.
It’s nice living here with our peers.
Let me guess – your wife signed you up for the Pharmaceutical Trials Program too.
Looks like the Italians and Mexican are fighting again.
On the other hand I don’t have to race every friggin day…
If anybody offers you cheese crumbs just say No.
Yeah I am the Go To Guy, it’s just Moldy cat food is an unusual request
They captured you in a Motel? That’s it? I just remember finding some cheese crumbs and Whack! then I woke up here.
Dude…trust me. We DO NOT leave these costumes until we know it’s safe to bend over for the soap.
Hi, I’m Chuck, I heard you are good with money. Wanna hear my idea of a pizza joint?
One day, Grasshopper, you too will learn how to “Madoff” with the cheddar like me and Bernie here.
It’s ’shuffle ball-change’ THEN ’shuffle hop’! It’s like you got 4 left feet!
They’re all watching man. Make it look good!
Yeah. Its a thorax. You wanna make someting of it?
Again?!? That’ll the fourth time I redid that tattoo. How long until you pupate?
1st: “Fresh fish” doesn’t mean what you think it means.
Do you have the feeling we’re a minority in here?
Ben pondered his opportunity to smoke a roach instead of tobacco.
5-10 for assaulting a guy who called me a “dirty rat”. And you?
Are we the only ones who celebrate halloween here? It looks like trick or treating is out then.
Nothing to see here. Move Along. Just another normal day in prison life in Chernobyl.
Be careful you know humans carry all kinds of diseases.
You can go far if you stick with me!
“Who you callin’ a vermin, you blood-sucking parasite?!”
“They said they’re giving me lethal injection tonight! I gotta know, how did you beat it?”
“You and me are gonna start a gang that is gonna wipe out millions. We’ll call it ‘Black Plague’.”
“We got 100 million life-sentences for your brilliant Black Plague idea. I know that’s not a lot to you but not all of us are gonna live forever!”
call me rat bastard one more time and I’ll suck out your other eye, Bugsy
“Yeah I got some little ones on the outside. Nine of ‘em. But Three Hundred and Twenty-Eight? I don’t know how you do it man..”
“They don’t call me the Big Cheese around here for nothin’ now you remember that”
The New Jersey Prison Vermon had become so overgrown that Authorities were forced to incarcerate them as well. The outside world just wouldn’t understand them.
That’s why this apron; your wings are locked up.
In my food he put the poison. I put it back in his.
Queen, tell your buddies to not follow you.
You think you got it rough?! Heh, try being a rat in prison. No one trusts you.
You wanna join the rat’s nest you gotta shank somebody, it’s the only way.
Look man, we got a real problem. They puttin’ me in cell block D with Mistoffelees.
Hey, you hear about the cat that’s being transferred? I hear he has 9 life sentences.
I’m a rat on d-CON row, what do I have to lose?
Now, Larry. You know cultural norms are tending back toward fur. Where’s your sense of style?
I’m blending with the humans.
“I asked you to get me some cheese, not cirgarettes.”
“If that’s what it takes to get out of wearing these pants, I’ll stop complaining.”
“If you don’t pick up the habit, you’ll never have to quit it.”
“Why, that dirty rat!”
“Then I told the bartender there was a roach in my drink and that’s when the fight started…..”
“Why is it that after 40, hair grows faster in areas I never thought possible.”
I told you we would not have a problem blending in.
This place is spotless. You wanna relocate?
I can’t take it any longer. These guys are the lowest form of life.
Go ahead and spread your infestation. I’m up for parole in 6 weeks.
Gay-relationships are there main concern so they keep us watching.
Gay-relationships are their main concern so they keep us watching.
You see that guy right there? He eats bugs like you for breakfast.
” I may be a rat on the outside, but in here I’m a mule!”
“You and I are in for home invasion and that’s 3 steps above that guy over there…he’s just a petty thief.”
“Listen up Bub, you might survive a nuclear holocaust, but you wont survive a day in here if you don’t learn the rules!”
“If we’re going to be incarcerated, why don’t we get those cool orange jumpsuits like in other lockups. I look like I’m ready to take your order for a Big Mac and a Coke!”
Take you to our leader? Our leaders don’t end up here. Our leaders get acquitted after their impeachment hearings or they resign and get a presidential pardon from the new leader.
It was entrapment, pure and simple. How about you?
Call it profiling, but the guys on gardening detail have a few questions.
On the outside Eddy was a “cleaner” for terminix…
He just wants us to know it was strictly business,
“nothing personal”
Yes, Joe used to live at 36th Street apt 101 too
and says he’s sorry about your wife and 65 kids!
Never, never turn your back on Ernie…
He’s serving 3 life sentences for “deviant crimes against nature”
I told you we never should have believed
lying Larry and his “no pants friday”
On the outside he was known as Eddie the Exterminator.
He just wants us to know it was “nothing personal”, strictly business…strictly business
He says tomorrow we gotta wear pants!
There’s some kind of rule about leavings in the yard…
Yea its cool here. We’re their best friends, we’re all they got.
huh…they didn’t issue you pants either? something is going down